Moving Woes

Staying with friends until I can get a cheaper place. I'm worried that the Puppet People are going to find me. My friend's t.v. has been acting screwy and I have seen some of the shows from before. Mostly reruns or rehashings.


Something about a dude whose last name is Winter or some shit. Going to check up on him.


Anyway. Onto the most disturbing part. My friends don't see it. They see it as normal television. Like Law and Order SVU or something. They think the stress is getting to me. But haven't done anything drastic. In fact they helped me rehome my cats. So at least I can count on them to have my back.



I have read Alice's Tumblr post and...I have this feeling that Tina's...no longer with us.



I hope that I'm wrong.

Three Months

Stuck in this shitty town. I'm running low on a lot of things. My water got cut off today. Guessing other stuff will too. Heh.


No dreams though. I'm not dreaming of anyone. But for some reason I'm smelling this floral perfume. Orchids. I think. This seems weird.

Not sure why I'm smelling this. But I feel safe at least.

Been a Long Time

I know I should have kept you guys updated but things've been hectic. My work schedule has been changed and well. I can move easier now thanks to medication. And I've been sleeping better now.



The therapist I have seen is a great person. She would do well if I wasn't lying out my ass on why I'm so stressed. And I don't know if she can tell. But I don't feel guilty for not telling her the truth.



It would probably get her involved.



Broke the T.V by the way. It was flickering to that hideous channel again and I have been hearing the screaming episode. Yes. The SCREAMING episode. The one with all the actors except Janice are screaming for no reason.



I....I hadn't seen it when it first came on. But my little brother did and I can't reach him for context about it. And I don't want to scare him.



This is getting out of control. I am scared by what's going to happen next. But I will transfer to keep you all posted. So wish me some decent luck.



I'll need it.

No Surgery Needed

But the doctor can't tell what it is.



There are two semihard lumps on my lower back that don't hurt. And I can't feel them either. They're about the size of a quarter but they don't have a clue what is causing it. Or what's wrong with my legs.



But they took a sample so I think they'll find out soon.



I tried to see if this has happened to anyone else before. Wondering if this is HER doing. I'm really hoping that I'm wrong.

Testing and Psychiatric Care

Doctor visit was..."fun". My doctor is suggesting I use a wheelchair for a while. Nothing is broken from what I was told. But something seemed seriously fucking wrong and I have no idea what. Quite frankly neither does the doctor. But I'm afraid it's something serious that'll require surgery.


The doctor is also upset that I'm not sleeping well.


Well doc...it can't be helped.


I'm going to try salting the lantern and other things around the house. Maybe that'll keep her out. I want sleep so badly. I miss dreaming. Maybe I'll dream of something beautiful.


Maybe.

Valentine's Day alcohol mention tw

What a crock of shit it is...I'm alone this year. Just like last. Only issue is I'm sleep deprived and...well...lots of unsavory things. Like I uh..can't walk properly. No issues with my legs but my lower back is fucked up.


My friend is making me see a doctor.


Then a therapist for the sleep issues. But nothing for my new drinking issues. Guess I'm supposed to be shamed outta doing it.


Fuck that.


It helps me get something close to sleep. Not giving it up until I am forced to. Like by the doctor or some shit. Uggh...talk whenever.


I'm gonna go lie down.

I Caved Alcohol Mention Tw

My friends told me that if I didn't sleep that they would do something drastic. I'm guessing hospital drastic. Or worse. Not sure what would be worse than being forced into a...ok yeah there is worse.



Like psych ward worse.



They wouldn't be bad for trying to put me in one. Mental hospitals aren't exactly evil places. But they would sedate me. I would dream. And if I dream...she'll kill me. Thankfully drunken blackouts are almost as good as sleep.



I mean hey. I was "sleeping" for at least six hours or so. Still good enough. Alright,I know it isn't really sleep. Or a good substitute for it. But it's all I honestly got right now. Though I might try medication. It's helped in the past.




No Puppet People news or T.V. shows to talk about. I haven't seen any of them. If I do though...I will tell you all. Hopefully it stays quiet like this. I'm not okay with more missing kids. Especially when I can't help them. It makes me feel so useless. I really hate that fucking stringed asshole.




I want to burn her.